Friday, June 11, 2010


3:00 am I get a call from my long lost friend. She was huffing and puffing trying to grasp for air, so I told her to slow down and catch your breathe. She said,"nooooooooo I need for you to listen," I said okay! She said girl I been seeing three different guy's at once and my husband didn't know. I was like girlllllllllllllllllll, are you serious? She said, this is no time for games I need you to come and pick me up immediately, because my husband has all three of the men held at gun point. I said, "wait, wait, wait, waittttttttt well why are you calling me shouldn't you be calling the police? She said I'm scared to call the cops because all of them are currently on probation. Before I knew it I heard a loud noise, POW POW POW POW then my friend and the three men started screaming. So I'm thinking to my self damnnnnnn, is this real or I must be dreaming. So I got up to wash my face and brush my teeth, I came rushing back to the phone and I heard a heavy voice saying YOOOOOOOOO chill partna I didn't know your girl was married. Her husband said, " so how long have you been seeing my wife. " The heavy voice replied," I been fucking your wife for 6 years." Her husband said, " okay!!!! and asked one of the other men, how long have you been seeing my wife." One of the other dudes said," for real for real me and shawty been kicking it for 10 years now." Her husband replied," 10 yearssssssssss me and her been married for 4 years." He asked the other cat," How long have you been with my wife? The third guy said, " To be honest my man I just met your wife at a swinger's club, she approached me and said she wanted to try something new, so I told her cool I'm down for whatever. Her husband said," so baby is this true?" She said," My hubbie I am so so so sorryyyyyyyyy I should have told you that I was into trying different sexual practices with different men." The husband said," why did you bring them to my house?" She replied," I thought it would've turned you onnnnnnnnnn baby honestly." The husband said," Do I look like a homo?" She said, " Yes actually you do that's why I married you, because I thought you were into exotic role play with opposite gender's." Her husband replied," you are obviously insane, pack up your belonging because this house is no longer your residence." She replied," Okay I was leaving you today anyway, by the way the divorce papers are waiting for your signature on the dining room table." He said," oh my goodness I know, you just didn't!!!!!" She replied," did you just say what I think you said!!!!!!!! I knew you wasn't letting me finger your anus for no apparent reason tehehehehehehehehe, come on fellas we out of here." The dudes replied, " hell we been waiting on you."

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